Coated in slick red, tied up to prevent any chance of escape, and then spirited into your home while you’re sleeping, peacefully unaware… Christmas is coming.
Ok, all kidding aside, December… It snuck up on me the same way it does every year. And normally I get to the week of Christmas and think, “Oh… Sugar Honey Iced Tea, maybe I should do a post or something that ties to it…” Followed by a last minute scramble and a half-baked post.
Haha! This time I actually glanced up from my mumblings in the darkness to realize that I have some content from pre-Horror Made I can share with you. ^.^
Last year, Immortal Alexander and I made a Top 10 Creepy Christmas Movies video, which I still really enjoy.
So here’s the video, followed by a list of lovely links to these movies so you can enjoy some creepy holiday fun leading up to the day in question.
10) Santa With Muscles
Release Date: 1996
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: A major jerk millionaire gets amnesia and ends up thinking he’s Santa Claus.
- There is something intrinsically disturbing about having a wrestler (Hulk Hogan) parading around with a bunch of orphans and beating people up.
- There’s trio of villains trying to “remove the orphans” any way they deem fit in order to get to a cave full of explosive crystals under the orphanage
- Just let #2 sink in for a moment
9) Silent Night
Release Date: 2012
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: A lunatic dressed as Santa goes on a murderous rampage.
- That Santa Mask 0.0
- Santa’s favorite toy is a flame thrower
- The scene when Santa electrocutes someone using Christmas lights
8) Santa Claus
Release Date: 1959
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: AKA Santa vs. Satan
- Disturbing looking puppets
- Satan is a key player in this movie
- Santa uses a wizard to spy on the world’s children
7) Batman Returns
Release Date: 1992
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: The Penguin and a corrupt business man plan to take over Gotham City with only Batman … well, and sort of Cat Woman… to stop them.
- Just look at penguin’s face!!
- Also Batman lights a thug on fire with his Batmobile
- and it’s a Tim Burton movie, so it has his particularly creepy flair to all of the visuals.
6) Black Christmas
Release Date: 1974
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: A stalker takes a deadly interest in the girls of a sorority house during Christmas break.
- There are some very disturbing death scenes in this movie
- then tension holds all the way through
- “The caller is in the house”
Release Date: 2010
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: Saint Nicolas returns to the world on a murderous rampage to continue kidnapping and murdering children just like he did before his death centuries ago
- A murderous mummified santa who never speaks
- hilariously bad dubbing
- the undead army at Santa’s command
4) Santa’s Slay
Release Date: 2005
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: Santa Claus is a demon who lost a with an Angel but now that he’s fulfilled his years of good, he’s making up for lost time.
- Santa uses his powers (like getting into houses through chimneys) to his evil advantage
- Santa goes to the strip club…
3) Nightmare Before Christmas
Release Date: 1993
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: Jack Skellington, the King of Halloween, discovers Christmas town and decides to give making Christmas a try.
- Tim Burton Claymation
- Oogey Boogey and his gang
- Christmas toys gone wrong
- pretty much all of it lol
Release Date: 1984
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: A gadget salesman finds the most unique and perfect gift for his son, but the Mogwai rules are broken and all hell breaks loose.
- Puppets 0.0
- murderous, ravenous swarms of adorably evil Gremlins
1) Rare Exports
Release Date: 2010
1 Sentence Plot Synopsis: 486 meters below the surface of the Korvatunturi mountains, lies the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas, unfortunately it’s discovered too late that it was buried for a good reason.
- Naked, wild, animalistic Santa
- Santa’s helpers are just as bad as he is
- the death scenes will stay in your brain all year
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What movies do you recommend I add to next year’s list?
Feel free to add movies that belong to the extended horror holiday universe. (Christmas, Hanukkah, Krampus, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice etc.)