It’s a lovely day for a walk. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping, wait. Those are not normal birds. Their wing span is immense. They have long sharp beaks, and they are circling above me. The large maple trees adorning each side of the street give me little protection from these foreign creatures as this was fall, and they were barren. No one seems to notice them but me. A woman is pushing a stroller, a child is playing hopscotch, and an elderly man is waiving at me with a smile from ear to ear as his sprinkler waters the lawn while moving to and fro.
This is a nightmare. This has to be a nightmare. The creatures must have gotten closer for I am now completely enveloped by shade. I dash left and right quickly while searching for shelter. I am totally exposed. I look up again and the creatures are now staring directly at me. They have no feathers yet they still fly. The edges of their leathery skin glistens in the sunlight. Their eyes glow a frightening shade of red and my heart quickens.
I dash for a nearby porch and slide beneath it. I military crawl deeper under the porch. A family of possums greet me with wild screeches. I smile at them. I’d rather by mauled by baby possums then eaten alive. Just then something grabs me by the ankle and clamps down hard. I slowly turn and see the giant head of one of those evil things staring back at me. My leg in it’s mouth. I die a little inside. The thing thrashes me about violently and yanks at me with all of it’s might. I grip onto a wooden post with both hands holding on for dear life. I look to the possums for assistance but their expressions tell me to piss off.
Then I am gone. Pulled into the sunlight and ready to face the end. I close my eyes and wait for it to come. The pain, and the darkness. Instead I hear a somewhat familiar voice. A mans voice. It’s muffled at first, but slowly becomes clear. Charlie, Charlie. Did you forget to put on your tinfoil hat again Charlie? Huh? I open my eyes and see a burly fellow dressed in white. He helps me to my feet and makes sure I am steady. Are you alright Charlie? I nod and dust myself off. You were playing under the gazebo again Charlie. The man hands me a bit of foil that had been shaped into a makeshift hat. You can’t forget to wear this my man. It keeps you safe right? I put it on and nod. I look around and see a fenced in bit of land. Green grass, and other folks dressed like me. They look like they are wearing pajamas. Some are batting at imaginary butterflies, some are staring at their feet while walking about like zombies.
I look to the sky and their is a hawk gliding above me. I tighten my hat as my heart quickens and repeat my mantra. “The hat will keep me safe.”